FINDING MY FATHER                                        His Century-Long Journey from World War I Warsaw and My Quest to Follow


“An accomplished, clear-eyed, and affecting memoir about a man who is at once ordinary and extraordinary….” —Forward

“Eli Tannen’s century-spanning Jewish American life is well worth reading about.” —Washington Post

“...The ultimate recognition of her father’s painful need for connection is searing, the depiction of the Jewish community in World War I-era Warsaw riveting. Not only does Ms. Tannen’s heartfelt portrait keep her father—and his memories—alive, but her story also hints at the undiscovered currents that may await us, too, if we but delve beneath the surface of our own family myths.” —Wall Street Journal


Long before she was the acclaimed author of a groundbreaking book about women and men, praised by Oliver Sacks for having “a novelist’s ear for the way people speak,” Deborah Tannen was a girl who adored her father. Though he was often absent during her childhood, she was profoundly influenced by his gift for writing and storytelling. As she grew up and he grew older, she spent countless hours recording conversations with her father for the account of his life she had promised him she’d write. But when he hands Tannen journals he kept in his youth, and she discovers letters he saved from a woman he might have married instead of her mother, she is forced to rethink her assumptions about her father’s life and her parents’ marriage. 
In this memoir, Tannen embarks on the poignant, yet perilous, quest to piece together the puzzle of her father’s life. Beginning with his astonishingly vivid memories of the Hasidic community in Warsaw, where he was born in 1908, she traces his journey: from arriving in New York City in 1920, to quitting high school at fourteen to support his mother and sister, through a vast array of jobs, including prison guard and gun-toting alcohol tax inspector, to eventually establishing the largest workers’ compensation law practice in New York and running for Congress. As Tannen comes to better understand her father’s—and her own—relationship to Judaism, she uncovers aspects of his life she would never have imagined.
Finding My Father is a memoir of Eli Tannen’s life and the ways in which it reflects the near century that he lived. Even more than that, it’s an unflinching account of a daughter’s struggle to see her father clearly, to know him more deeply, and to find a more truthful story about her family and herself.

Finding My Father Audiobook Review

“Author Deborah Tannen's sentimental exploration of her father's letters makes this audiobook one that listeners will enjoy and remember. Tannen's delivery is warm, filled with love, and ideally paced for savoring…. Listeners will remember the audiobook because it demonstrates how, despite the passage of more than a century, immigrants continue to overcome obstacles as they strive to adapt to American culture. Although the audiobook focuses on Tannen's father, it goes deeper. The stories of her parents' courtship and the travails he overcomes professionally make this listen memorable.” D.J.S. © AudioFile 2020, Portland, Maine

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Watch Deborah Tannen’s interview with Susan Stamberg hosted by Politics and Prose.

Watch Deborah Tannen’s interview with Amy Tan hosted by Book Passage Bookstore.

Watch Deborah Tannen’s interview with Maureen Corrigan hosted by the Georgetown University Library.

Watch Deborah Tannen’s talk hosted by Copperfield’s Books.

Listen to Deborah Tannen’s interview with Alan Alda on his podcast Clear + Vivid.